written at Sunday, May 20, 2007
sometimes life seems so bleak but yet some people just manage to change your mood into something that's totally the oppposite. perhaps that's the power of love. love for your special ones, love for your friends and of course,maybe even love for your family.
hmms i never expected i'ld feel so strongly for someone, perhaps when it started, it just felt like something flickering. sort of like the stars in singapore night sky- you can't reallly see them properly but every few seconds you see a slight flickering of light in contrast with the dreary night sky. yah, that's how i felt at first. errr. didn't think that'll we'ld be like this now. hmm. you're the one that means a lot to me and i know you know that right? :))) u mean the most in this world!!
yawns. i need sleep. really need slp.
written at Thursday, May 17, 2007
don't feel very happy recently.
lol.
don't know why also. :( but just feels odd. hmms.
i'm dam slpy recently, have to keep myself awake by popping sweets into my mouth. which means additional calories into my body. which means i'm getting fatter by the minute. -sigh- the life of a girl.
should really stop watching channel 8 dramas. seriously, i'm getting too involved in the plot >.<
written at Monday, May 14, 2007
sigh
sigh
sigh x10000000
i never thought i was going to miss this little red dot.
sayonara.
bye bye
zai jian
)):
but then, there's always hope for 4 As!!
although highly impossible but.
wth, i'm going to try my best
written at
i'm seriously freaking confused.
i'm supposed to be happy. joyous. elated. but then after yesterday's surge of adrenaline, i don't find it that.. joyous anymore.. hahaha. it's not that i don't trust you but just that.. i tink i don't know you well enough. like i'm smitten yes.. but i really honestly don't know you.. and you don't know me either. like.. i don't know what you eat or what you don't eat. and you don't know that about me too.
it's the only thing that i'm hesitating about.
it's not a happy thing for me you know..
to keep on hesitating and doubting someone's feelings.
written at
i'm seriously freaking confused.
i'm supposed to be happy. joyous. elated. but then after yesterday's surge of adrenaline, i don't find it that.. joyous anymore.. hahaha. it's not that i don't trust you but just that.. i tink i don't know you well enough. like i'm smitten yes.. but i really honestly don't know you.. and you don't know me either. like.. i don't know what you eat or what you don't eat. and you don't know that about me too.
it's the only thing that i'm hesitating about.
it's not a happy thing for me you know..
to keep on hesitating and doubting someone's feelings.
written at Saturday, May 12, 2007
had dinner with my family today. together with all the aunts and uncles. 9 of us in total, minus my two sisters who happily went to some other swanky restaurant with her friends leaving us to eat at some unknown taiwan restaurant which, surprisingly, tasted pretty good :)
so.
we were just like eating and stuff when the appetizer came so, being the ass*ole my brother is, he rawred at my mother to cook the same kind of stuff that the restaurant served. my poor mother just replied:
"wo yi jing zi shen nan bao, ni hai yao wo zhu gei ni chi?"
i think the whole table could hear my heart shatterring. then there was this awkward silence. those kind of silence which you knew something must be wrong somewhere, somehow. :/ oh well, honestly, i don't know how to face up to this reality. those that actually know what i mean, i'm sure you'll agree that.. if it was you, you'ld be at a crossroad, unsure of which step to proceed.
so after dinner we got onto 51 and my brother suddenly wanted to talk psycology with me.
kor: (furiously trying to step on my feet)
me: (shifts uncomfortably)
kor: why you move your feet away?
me: HUH? (looks at him oddly) cos you wanna step on my feet what
kor: but why you move away? you know i sure can step on you no matter how you move what
me: (rolls eyes) because it's a reflex action?
kor: but after u do that, you won't tell urself not to move again one meh?
me: (rolls eyes repeatedly) no! i don't think of such minor stuff...
kor: a lot of things... mayb can become very major.
me: (looks at him weirdly.. ) ok........................
-silence-
kor: do you love with your heart or your brain?
me: blah blah blah
i'm too tired to cont his wu liao conversation. :/
back to rv, anyone?
written at
you're supposed to be back already.
pissed pissed and more pissed.
worried.
wdv.
i feel like killing nky. rwarrr.
i hope you trip over your own humongous feet, fall and break your buck teeth and fracture your teeny weeny pathetic limbs.
rawwr.
don't mind me, i'm really pissed
written at Monday, May 07, 2007
sigh i'm like down.
down with the flu.
people must be bored by my moping but anyways, before i felt feverish i was on a JOYOUS trip to the doctors and i would have turned out nicely if not becos of the sudden urge to throwup whatever i have eaten yesterday and the sudden chronic case of sneezing. ah the things i have to put up with sometimes :/ i should see the doctor soon, before i faint or i stop being able to see things cos my eyes are so puffed up. -forces eyes open-
& i just passed the phone to my mummy and i almost passed out :/
how irritatingly inconvenient.
i really should get some panadol,aspirin and some alchohol. lols.
written at
gosh i just read a fellow sister class girl's blog. hmm, inspiring!
ok sigh. i have no idea when i'm going to back i school. this is reallly going to suck a lot. :///
more on later, when i'm back from the docts. bah.
the wireless here just can't do it :s
written at Saturday, May 05, 2007
seriously. something is really wrong with blogger. it looks weird on my screen.
wait
or is it my screen?
gah nvm.
was just thinking today about all the lame jokes sok hwei used to tell me. all that muah chee and stone and bat jokes. sighh those were the good days that we had. like totally dam slack-off, can crap the hell out of nothing. those were the days *enter exaggerated sigh here* all that's gone now. blah, i'm busy mugging for my econs test coming soon, in another 3 day's i'll be crying over my results. i'm seriously screwed for econs. and probably any other subjectst that i've missed recently. i should just fling myself over a building and refuse to take any test/exam/anything that needs to use my brain. -cries-
i'm missing yujia jayne and yanneng. lucky we're meeting up soon. hhaha. we should go settlers cafe every first saturday of the month!!! free food + drinks sponsored by our school's alumni every first saturday of the month. so we can continue the days of crapping and talking nonsense over good food, good drinks and boardgames. :bbPpp good life eh?
can't wait.
-grins oddly-
written at Friday, May 04, 2007
1. WHAT ARE YOU DOING NOW?
- checking mails, doing this, and emo-ing
2. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO?
一眼万年 by SHE. it so happened to be on my player now. my rule about SHE will NEVER change
3. HOW'S LIFE?
ask life.
4. STATUS?
ON. ALIVE. what do you mean >:/
TECHNOLOGY SMS-ING
9. LAST PERSON YOU SMSED?
zhenhao.
10. LAST TIME YOU SMSED?
1406
11. WHAT DID YOU LAST SMS?-
">.< nv bring bag along. lol! ok lah u gg back to sch for pailian. tough on you."
12. WHAT DID YOUR LAST SMS SAY?
"i am at habourfront le tt why chao stupid carrying a water bottle cos i nv bring my bag along"
13. WHO'S YOUR MOST SENT SMSES TO?
grace :D
CALLING
14. WHO LAST CALLED YOU?
MY MUM :/
15. WHO'S 2ND ON YOUR MISSED CALL LIST?
grace
16. LAST DIALLED?
grace
CONTACTS
17. FIRST CONTACT ON 'Y'
yanneng ! :D
18. DO YOU HAVE ANYONE BY THE NAME OF SEAN?
NO
19. WHO'S ON 'Z'?
zhenhao, zoe
20. ANY FOREIGN NUMBERS?.
erm my aunts and uncles number.
21. SEVENTH PERSON ON J?
jiamin
.22. SEVENTH ON L?
i don't know anyone starting with L. i think
this is so unfair on me! i just changed phone! -grumbles-
IPOD/MP3PLAYER
23. ANY IPOD/MP3PLAYER?- yups
24. HOW MANY SONGS ARE THERE IN IT?- erm 176?
25. HOW MUCH DID IT COST?- $215 i think.
26. WHAT IS YOUR MOST PLAYED?
windows media player
27. HOW MANY SONGS ALTOGETHER?
about 500+
28. MOST PLAYED SONG?- on my laptop :
Moi lolita
kiss me
一眼万年
中国话
不得不爱
Save room
发现爱
恋爱达人
What will i do
只對你有感覺
暖暖
P.D.A, we just don't care
30. RECENTLY ADDED?-
lol. all that is the most played. LOl.
i'm so freaking freaking bored. i should dig for more of this wu liao tests LOL.
like so nostalgic, i think i did alot of these stuff previously when i was in sec1/2 lol.
written at Thursday, May 03, 2007
on my way home today, i thought about a lot of things in life. how some things just didn't go the way they planned.
i
planned to excel in my jc life
i
planned to be emotionally stable.
planned to be safe.
planned.how things didn't go according to plan.
& the feeling just sucks.
maybe some things which didn't go according to plan may be flowing well.
maybe, i'm enjoying myself more now. but i'm sure, i'll screw up at the end. hah... everything is so ambigious now. i'm also unsure of what's going to happen soon. just feel like. yahh.. screwing up my life. never felt so screwed.
anyways, while i was on my way home, i was staring out of the window, clearly this time, with my contacts on. (usually when i'm out i hardly wear glasses/contacts) and i suddenly realise how small everyone looked. okay, not small as in in size although that's true also, but rather how
insignificant everyone seems. like everyone is just... everyone. nothing special. they're all busy people scurrying home for dinner, for a movie, or for a chat with their friends. so..
vulnerable?
yet there was this couple that caught my eye. they were just holding hands. yupps, no p.d.a or anything, but the only reason why they caught my eye was cos
they looked happy. not that everyone didn't look happy. but they were the only ones with the look of perfect bliss. you know, those "looking in your eyes i will melt" kind of expression. while in contrast, the rest of the office yi4 zu2 were all hustling and bustling along with erm, unfriendly frowns on their faces. but then that particular couple made me realise - though all of them are just people, normal insignificant females & males to me, at home, somewhere,
they mean the world to them. ah, perhaps i was just being emotionally or something. but then cruising along the streets of singapore does make me feel a wee bit more positive about the world. i guess that's a good thing. :)
i was at national library before heading down to sgh and then it went pass clarke quay as well. hahah. it was so unnaturally peaceful in the afternoon. comparatively of cos, to the late night parties frequently held there. but you know, there's something about the dirty muddy 'river', faint lights and a white bridge that makes you feel like the world's romantic. lol. perhaps i'm really like, going crazy? so many things going through my brain. think i'm becoming depressed unknowingly. maybe what they say is right.
i'm only smiling cos i'm pretending nothing is wrong in my life. at least by pretending, i can start believing that it's true, even if that's far from the truth.
written at Tuesday, May 01, 2007
OH GOSH.
p5 science is freaking hard. i'm so glad i was born in 1990. apparently, their learning reproduction in plants and animals already. and trust me, it's not that great a difference from what we're learning.
and i got refreshed on why i didn't take science stream in jc.
COS IT'S BORING.
i'm being put to sleep by science textbooks. even by primary 5 ones. mayb if it was ridiculously simple i would be nicely amused. but it's the same as sec4 bio. BLEH. hate science.
