I've been blessed with wonderful friends, a perfect family and a rare boyfriend and I'm pretty much contented with my life. :) The few months without school opened my eyes to a lot of things in this world that can't be bought with money, and I caught up with some friends, lost contact with some others. But I'm still enjoying life as it is now. But i guess I'll be dreading the day school starts. Right now I'm currently working as a tuition teacher with great kids that make me truly enjoy what i'm doing and makes my life a bit more fufilling than it ever could be. And here, I just want to thank those who've made a difference in my life. Even those who has caused me anger before, becaues only it's only when i care for you that i can have such strong emotions towards you. :)
usually blogging at such an indecent time of 12.30am probably means something is wrong with me. and i admit. i'm so confused now...
maybe all i need is some hints.
so what if i get hints, get what i want?
will i know how to react?
will i be able to take the truth and will we able to act as pals.
as though nothing ever happened before.
i seriously doubt the possibility. sigh
i'm getting so dejected. so so melancholy.
sometimes, life just gets meaningless after a while right?
-sigh
♥ hui | 0 Comments
THE PHOTO POST (:
written at Wednesday, March 28, 2007my life in photos. plus i'm sick so that's the best thing i can do. to photo blog without photoshopping LOL.
tonnes of photos yet to be updated that i decideed to throw everything together.
founders day spent slacking in class and trying to jio pple into going out after that.taken by dearest nengzi which totally is a cute and adorable classmate. which led to me and kgs spending half the day in a hefty over-charged dessert shop in fareast plaza. like omg, 2buck for 8 soursop seeds. I COUNTED. :p
tonnes of photos yet to be updated that i decideed to throw everything together.just in case i lose any of them
my sister loves capturing me at odd moments like above. haha, i was innocently using the laptop until she decided to cam whore me. :p look at my awfully spastic look O_O <--- how i look in simple symbols. i don't usually look shu nu :p
typically me stoning away as usual. LOL. i think my sister was trying to tell me something. so i was like HUH. so cam whore. LOL.
another unflattering photo of me with kgs. he looks like he's in pain HAHA. we had dessert at far east plaza after founders day. that's me in my super banana looking apollo shirt :p and of course my head of unruly hair.
a slightly better looking photo with my cousin. it was after pai lian that day. haha and i slept like super lot the previous night. too much slp makes me look drowsy. :p see my messy hair and puffy eyes??
founders day spent slacking in class and trying to jio pple into going out after that.taken by dearest nengzi which totally is a cute and adorable classmate. which led to me and kgs spending half the day in a hefty over-charged dessert shop in fareast plaza. like omg, 2buck for 8 soursop seeds. I COUNTED. :p
total posuer shot. haha i got a 'my brother is a posuer' shot. he's totally looking uncool in his botak army head. :p so much for trying to act cool HAHA.
sisterly shots again. haha we only have time to take these shots when we're out shopping. sadly, i only have photos of my da jie and none from my er jie, probably cos she has a boyfriend and yah, less time for us! sobs. :p
besides that in the second photo i was in hc uniform. LIKE OMG. i told them i refused to take photos in my uniform! i think i'll restrict it to neoprints. which i should take more often :/
ok maybe i have ONE. without me during chinese new year. er jie plus my most adorable niece that's absolutely super-glued to my sister. haha must be the goods looks people, sticking together around. tsk tsk tsk.
FRIENDS: (other than extra kgs who is pretty much considered family)
our dearest jeffrey during huangcheng fu zhuang. lol, always looking so whiney. and my bestest girlfren in fuzhuang LOL. other than huijun & anyi & yenyeen :p
me and xiang. always the girl that's helpful and sweet. and can along with her. oh man, my rv uni and her st nics uni. will always remember how it feels yah? :DDD
fuzhuang anyi and yenyeen. omg they are cam whores! lol joking, they just love comical candid shots. posed candid shots. LOL the irony. anyways, i love them totally and miss the time that i was in fuzhuang. :D thanks girls for making that period of time so memorable. (:
on the day of the last performance. the photos to mark our last performance and the end of the journey. plus, a new beginning. i love you guys !!! :D ♥ hui | 0 Comments
written at Tuesday, March 27, 2007omg omg omg
dreams, they tell us everything don't they? i had a dream this afternoon while taking my afternoon nap. it's one of those days that everything that is passing in your life is going at a pace of a fifth of what a normal student goes through, and a hundredth of a hwa chong student.
but i digress.
i had this dream, about robbery. i was in a foreign country with someone, a girl. a friend? a sister? or a cousin, i'm not entirely sure all i know for sure was that for an unknown reason, all my lauggage were left at the control station of the mrt like place. the place that looks like a mrt station, did a perfect job in imitating the one in singapore. well, it could have been in singapore, but somehow the image of me holidaying in Singapore, with lauggage didn't really fit, since i might as well left all my clothes at home, and mugging incidents don't happen in singapore.
so where was i? oh yah, my dream. so apparently for a few days consequetively, i've been mugged in the mrt station lookalike place. the same place with different bags and different people. somehow, not a single one was interested in the lauggage but all in my bag. and the worse thing is no one really helped me. i didn't really care about the mugging incident, i really don't know why i didn't. but i just didn't. so i continued with my daily route of going to the mrt station place, continually getting mugged. i remember chasing after him though and i don't remember his face. i was screaming like a mad lady. so anyways, i just got mugged like 1000 times until i think i got really sick of it. :/
SO i think i kinda gave up but on the day that i got 'scolded' for my messy lauggage hanging around public area (which i was extremely surprised considering the amount of time i left it there and no one complained >.<) and i started packing up all my sprawled possesions. then the dumb mugger striked again. i think i was feeling really pissed in my dream on that day (must be that old wretched woman who scolded me for my clothes around that area) cos i started chasing him and screaming obscenities that a girl should never speak of. surprisingly (my dream is FULL of surprises T.T) some guys went after that robber and surprisingly,(yet again) an old bald man caught him by throwing his walking cane at him but, the robber shot him! ok i don't think the bald old man got shot cos the next instant, i know for sure a young guy got shot, totally not bald and can walk properly.
but the point is, i was terrified, (in my dream) and i was like omg omg omg omg he's pointing the gun around. as in i really felt the feeling of standing at gunpoint. you know what they say about people at gun point think about the moments in life which took their breathe away, how some people really matter to you? yah, that's what i felt. it's stupid, considering it's just a dream and i thought of someone. as in i thought of many people man, but that someone is special, cos when i thought of him, he appeared running and screaming for me. and when i saw him, i climbed up two stairs and just collapsed in his arms. oddly, i jerked up from my sleep the moment that happened. cos i'm not supposed to like him. at all. and i know i'm very attached to him, totally, but i don't like him in that sense. not supposed to. and by right never will.
i have to take this as a stupid dream. but why do i feel so shaken up? i don't know how to express the way i feel now in words. my pathetic range of vocabulary just doesn't quite cut it this time. i feel like " yay i'm in love with him. " and i feel like "shit wth am i going to do" and i feel like " omg this is just a dream just a dream, nothing more" i feel all these mixed together.
shit, it's me isn't it.
stressed must be piling on at the back of my brain.
oh i love farenheit. :D
♥ hui | 0 Comments
written at Wednesday, March 21, 2007it's only an award, sometimes, you just have to look past it :)
games day today but f lah. i was mugging in class. can't help it. history is a huge burden on my back and i can't seem to do it the way i wished i could. haix. maybe it's the environment. HAHA i have something against classrooms in jc. :p
after the talk with her yesterday, time seems to pass faster today.
perhaps i really should learn to stop thinking so much.
open up my heart, maybe i'll gain more that way :D
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written at Tuesday, March 20, 2007odd feeling now. i've never felt so speechless before. neither have a stuttered and said odd things that would destroy my facade. wth, it must have the hideous knock at island cremery. fuck, things always go hay-wired when everything seemed to move so smoothly.
have you ever felt so helpless before? you used to excel in something, bloody hell, you used to excel in almost everything, except possibly chinese language. now you're reduced to being judged by a fucking D grade. i know i'm being vulgar in this post. but i can't help it. i'm feeling this sense of being lost. fuck that feeling sucks. i can seem to figure out what's wrong. what the hell is wrong?! i'm frustrated, is my lack of feelings obstructing my love for lit? haha so cliched but i always believed that feelings must be involve in our work, especially in poems. if it's about romance, you need that feeling to understand what the writer is trying to say. if it's about death or losing someone close i guess it's helpful to have contextual knowledge? perhaps i've been feeling so unemotional, so cold recently that i've forgotten how to feel. mayb.
and i've never feared anything more than being dao-ed.
fuck it's the only thing i've feared that much.
but perhaps it's the best way for both of us? haha.
at least it'll stop me thinking so much. stop me from finding excuses to start a conversation.
"how's the weather today?"
BAHHH.
must be me, must be the spring feeling.
must be those odd feelings i'm getting mixed up.
MUST BE THAT BUMP ON THE ISLAND CREMERY SIGN
♥ hui | 0 Comments
written at Saturday, March 17, 2007mugging again.i'm not used to life in hc without huangcheng. it's like.. suddenly i feel that my life is exceptionally empty suddenly. i rather go back to the bustling life i once had. apparently it's all ending. no wonder they call it post huangcheng syndrome.i wonder what's going on in all the huangcheng people's life. are they continue-ing life as it were once before are are they yearning for those kinda busy lifestyle. haha i'm sick of stoning in front of the computer.sians. -.-i should get a grip on myself.don't think of sinful stuff.i should start on my exercise routine soon. like super hiong training regime. :) i'm getting phat like a pig. anyways, while talking to juniors recently, i realise how much i miss secondary school life and my peeps during sec sch. is like even yanneng is starting to like someone. like oh my gosh. soo many things have changed since we graduated from RV. :( i don't know if i should be glad or sad. :/ i wish things were the same. the same canteen bench, the same breakfast gang, same shopping, same uniform. at least during then, we could find a way to identify ourselves as one. :(i wish i was in a all girls' school (SOMETIMES).i think i would have closer friends and closer shopping partners then. :(((sobs.
♥ hui | 0 Comments
written at mugging again.
i'm not used to life in hc without huangcheng. it's like.. suddenly i feel that my life is exceptionally empty suddenly. i rather go back to the bustling life i once had. apparently it's all ending. no wonder they call it post huangcheng syndrome.
i wonder what's going on in all the huangcheng people's life. are they continue-ing life as it were once before are are they yearning for those kinda busy lifestyle. haha i'm sick of stoning in front of the computer.
sians. -.-
i should get a grip on myself.
don't think of sinful stuff.
i should start on my exercise routine soon. like super hiong training regime. :) i'm getting phat like a pig. anyways, while talking to juniors recently, i realise how much i miss secondary school life and my peeps during sec sch. is like even yanneng is starting to like someone. like oh my gosh. soo many things have changed since we graduated from RV. :( i don't know if i should be glad or sad. :/ i wish things were the same. the same canteen bench, the same breakfast gang, same shopping, same uniform. at least during then, we could find a way to identify ourselves as one. :(
i wish i was in a all girls' school (SOMETIMES).
i think i would have closer friends and closer shopping partners then. :(((
sobs.
♥ hui | 0 Comments
